Yesterday was an excellent last day of class. I still had to get up at seven and go to two classes, but I didn't go to chapel or to sleep or study during the chapel time. It was nice. For Spanish, we went to the little tex-mex place and got pastries. Then I ate lunch (which was terrible as usual--in fact, I think I just had mashed potatoes) and discovered that I didn't have to go to CS-I because I'd already done all the projects! Yay! So after Bible (during which I drew cartoon people that spoke in Spanish), I played the piano for two hours. Ah, that felt good, even though the piano was slightly out of tune and I couldn't sing because of this darn film on the back of my throat. I came back and people were watching Finding Neverland in my room. I watched the rest with them (just enough to make me tear up). And then we walked to supper in the rain. Ah, that was fun. Then I found out that the brothers were going to see Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy at 9:10. So, before the movie, Carolyn, Amanda, Jodie, Valerie, and I (it was like the veteran ELH-3ers!) went to the mall and got stuff. Well, I didn't really which was probably good. Then we discovered that we had to be back in fifteen minutes in order to leave for the movie at the prearranged time of 8:40. Carolyn and I (after dropping the others off) pulled into the brother floor parking lot exactly at 8:40! Yes! So we went to the movie. What can I say about that movie? It was pretty dang crazy. I laughed my head off at many parts. It was like an 80s movie with better effects! I loved it! It was definately worth 4 bucks! So I had mountains of relaxing fun to celebrate the last day of classes, and still went to bed before 1am! Craziness. We're going to the park in a little less than an hour, and I'm trying to procrastinate until then, even though I should be studying. So, I guess I'll study for stinking finals. Happy end of the semester!!!

You're Jane Eyre of Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte!


Which Classic Female Literary Character Are you?
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So, I really don't want to do homework right now. I have a bit to do, I guess. But I don't want to. So, I thought, writing a post is probably the way to procrastinate feeling the least guilty 'cause maybe it'll get my writing juices flowing so that I can write my Brit Lit journals. Bleh.

On to profoundness! (that is in the title of this blog, afterall) I can't believe that in just a little over a week, I'll be halfway through with college. AHHHHHH!! By next (not this) Thursday, I'll be a Junior! Weirdness. Two weeks from yesterday, I'll be starting my first clock-in job (aside from five days at the dog groomers which didn't have set hours). I guess this job won't last much longer than the dog groomers, but it'll be more like a real job. Oh dear, I'm going to go crazy. This has been a great year. I know I had something profound to say, but nothing comes to mind. Today was my last PA meeting. It was nice. I'm gonna miss the other PA's. This Saturday my floor and our brother floor are going to the park. Yay! It will be fun. I've been looking forward to it all semester. I guess I should go be productive now. No wonder hardly anyone reads my blogs--all I say is "I can't think of what I had meant to say." Oh! I dreamed in Spanish again last night. This time, we weren't speaking Spanish, I was actually trying to remember how to construct logical sentences. That's what I get for doing homework right before bed . . . Here's a little something for your fun. If you think of things to add, let me know. (by the bye, I know this doesn't apply to everyone, it's just stuff that I've found happened to me)

Things That Happen To You When You Attend College:

1. You stop refering to individual days; every day is either Mon-Wed-Fri, Tue-Thur, or the weekend, i.e.: "Is today a Mon-Wed-Fri or a Tue-Thur?" or "Thank goodness! today's the weekend."
2. Going to bed early is anytime before midnight
3. En route to McDonald's, you hear yourself say, "Finally! We get real food tonight."
4. A fun Friday night is going to Wal-Mart
5. Going to bed late is anytime after 4am
6. Starting a project early is two days before it's due
7. A lot of money is $5
8. You generally go to bed around midnight to 2am, but occasionally go to bed as early as 9 or even 7pm
9. Starting a project late is after midnight the night before it's due
10. You know how to buy everything at the cheapest possible price for the best bargain
11. And finally, you spend your free time--what's that again?
    
    Sammie G.

Well, I was feeling very good about everything last week. I got ahead in my reading and Bible journals and got a history worksheet done nearly a week before it was due--I was doing pretty good. Then I went on the PA retreat (which was really fun by the bye) and came back. Now I'm remebering everything I have to do. I have to finish two sets of journals (one is thankfully near completion), redo my paper on which it was pretty much stated that I didn't need research and after I wrote it I was told I didn't have enough research, do the Spanish extra credit (which I need), and do all the computer stuff I have to. On top of that, we have a quiz today in Computer Science over a chapter I read a couple of weeks ago and so don't remember specifics so I'll probably flunk, and I got an e-mail today from one of the English teachers sayings, "It's time for you to complete one of your assignments as an English major. You have to complete a one-hour timed writing assignment where I'll give you a poem and you have to critically write about it. This is to measure your progress from your Sophmore to Senior years. It's nothing to stress about; just let me know what time this week would be good." (or something to that effect) What the heck? NO time this week will be the good; it's the dosh gone last week of classes before finals, do they think I have oodles of free time? And I was never told about this assignment, so I don't think they have any right to spring it on me like this. Plus, I'm switching majors as soon as the new one is available, so I don't want to do this assignment if it will become obsolete when I change. ARGH! This campus really needs to work on communication. Needless to say (I hope), I didn't reply to the e-mail right away. I'm waiting until I calm down. :) Well, teacher's here, class will start. Bye!

So, sitting in compi-sci, waiting for it to start. I'm so very tired. But after this class, I have to go to financial aide, and then at 5:45 there's the IMPACT thingy which I need to shower and eat before and after IMPACT is Film Fest. Plus I was gonna go see if I could find my Shawna. So I don't think I'll get a nap today. And I have to get up to leave for the PA retreat tomorrow. Dang that bell . . .

So yesterday was very productive for me. I read more than three days worth of Bible, wrote three Bible journals, finished my Spanish workbook and lab manual, studied for my Spanish test, and did my history worksheet--all after lunch! So I decided I wanted to do something. Well, last night was a little last minute, so I polled the floor and found out that Thursday would be best for doing something. I’m not very good at instigating, so Shawna did most of the instigating. She asked what could be our reason for going out (if we had a reason, more people might come) and I jokingly mentioned my (fake) birthday that was several weeks ago, and Shawna is awesomely sweet, so I think we’re going to celebrate my birthday!! I’m so happy! Alisha told me happy birthday today and it made my day. I’m excited. I was going to say something else, but I don’t remember what it was.

I think Saga food is making me sick because I’ve been slightly nauseated (especially after meals, hint hint) for more than a week. It makes me sad . . . I hope that Saga food isn’t ruining all of my internal organs with its over-fried, over-buttered, stale-and-week-old general nastiness. I sigh deeply. Oh well. Such is the college life, I suppose. On to more homework (although I got very much ahead, I have a paper due a week from Friday. I got feedback on it and I’m confused. I turned in a very rough draft for feedback and explained that I didn’t have a works cited page yet. I was told I didn’t need a works cited page if I only used the textbook. Well, I had gotten some chronology from elsewhere, but that’s it. Well, today the scribbled teacher-scrawl on my paper said that I didn’t have enough research and that quoting class lectures was a poor substitute for research. What happened to only needing to use the textbook? Good grief! teachers can be annoying sometimes. . . . anyway, so I should work on that). Have a wonderful evening everyone who doesn’t actually read this. Maybe I will see you sometime in the future . . .

Sammie G.

So, yesterday I said that about the only I could think of that could possibly be worse that what had already happened would be to be struck by lightening on a cloudless day. But then I'd go to heaven, and that would be tons better than being here (no matter how good your life is, heaven is always going to be better), so I concluded that it was about as bad as it was going to get. Of course, I was chuckling to myself the whole time I figured this out. I love my personality. I'm so glad God gave it to me. I find it very hard to be upset or sad. I usually wind up laughing at myself, which is an extreme blessing, considering that I'm a writer and consequently blow everything out of proportion and overdramatize it. After dinner last night was pretty good. Although, I was very cautious about eating (due to nausea all day), it was steak night last night, so of course I ate some. Then a bunch of us (sisters and brothers) played Apples to Apples (they love that game; it's awesome! thanks for giving it to me, Karen and Harry). Then Amanda sewed a quilt, and I sat in the lounge partly dosing and the rest of the time interjecting comments into Zoot and Bushey's conversation. When the rest of the people got back from the concert that they went to (which lasted entirely too long), Shawna and I went over to the brother floor lounge to watch the Princess Bride because we wanted to and Jason hadn't seen it before. That was lots of fun. So the end of the day made up for the beginning.

Despite the fact that I had trouble sleeping because I was coughing and that I woke up definately sick and weak (it's really funny), I'm in a much better mood this morning. I'm drinking some yummy chicken soup given to me by my mommy through Karen. I love my family. And I'm going to try to make it to Symphony tonight despite my severely weakend condition (writer). Oh! and I dreamed in Spanish last night! That was fun. I had strange dreams too . . .

Well, I'd better get to work on that paper that is due rather soon. Only two weeks of classes left! Yay! Fare thee well my adoring public!

Sammie G.

P.S. I did write that long-promised post about the Renaissance Faire (and it wasn't too shabby), but blogger shut down and didn't save it. Grrr. Hence the "computer's are evil" post on xanga. SG

A part of me just wants to ignore what happened and not write about it, to just move on and write a treatise on the helpfulness of belt loops or tell the tale of how the Great House Shoe Caper was solved, but I owe Nancy more than that.

Last Thursday, I got an e-mail saying that one of the girls from my Cornerstones group was in the hospital and asking us to pray for her. I prayed all day Thursday whenever I stopped to pray. I prayed Thursday night, and I prayed Friday morning. I guess I didn’t think much about it; I thought she’d be fine.

In chapel Friday morning, the chaplain got up to make an announcement. I thought he was going to ask everyone to pray for Nancy to get better. Instead, he asked everyone to pray for Nancy’s family—Nancy had died early that morning.

When I heard, I just couldn’t stop crying. I cried from chapel ‘til lunch. I thought to myself, “I didn’t know her well enough to warrant being this sad,” but when I thought about it, I realized that I had known her better than I had thought. Out of all the girls in my Cornerstones group who didn’t become either my roommate, floormate, or best friend, Nancy was the one I knew the best. She was the sweetest, most joyful and excited, beautiful girl.

Friday afternoon, everything seemed unreal. I had entered that blissful stage of grieving when everything remains strangely blurred. I wanted to cry Friday night, but I couldn’t. Everything stayed so unreal and so blurred all of Saturday until the sun went down, the lights went out, and it was time for bed. Then it really hit me. Nancy was dead. I’d never see her again. No one would. Not here on earth anyway. I cried myself to sleep. I went with Shawna to church Sunday. I needed a good friend, and I needed someone who hadn’t really known Nancy. Someone to be strong while I cried. I cried all of Sunday until supper.

Today, I went to Nancy’s funeral. It was very good. Her uncle from Honduras spoke in Spanish, which was translated, but I understood enough of the Spanish to understand. It was very meaningful and moving in Spanish. I cried more for the people who missed Nancy than I cried because she was dead.

When things like this happen, people often ask why. I didn’t. I know Nancy’s happier in heaven. I know that she’s finally getting to do what she so longed to do. She’s using her beautiful voice to sing for God’s glory.
Even though I didn’t know Nancy intimately well, she was my friend, and I’m really going to miss her.

I’m glad I went to the funeral because I feel like the time of constant grieving is over. All weekend, even when I was so weary that I couldn’t even remember why I was crying, my body knew I was grieving and kept the tears coming. But now, now it feels like it’s okay not to cry.
I’ve never known someone so close to me and so young that died. I suppose this is the beginning and I should get used to it. It’s not something you can get used to. It’s a strange experience. I miss Nancy and what a wonderful person she was. I miss hearing her gasp and start crying every time I played Lord of the Rings. I miss hearing her get so excited. I’ll even miss the way she asked me in a slightly horrified voice if I really heard voices. But I think what I’ll miss the most is that I’ll never have the chance to go with her to Honduras to help her with her Opera house, like she had invited me to. I miss Nancy, but I’m glad she’s gone. Not that she left, but that she went home. Someday, I hope everyone who reads this will be able to meet Nancy in heaven and hear her sing. I hope to see all of you again one day when we’re praising our Savior forevermore. For all of you who knew Nancy, I’m sorry that we lost her, and I pray God gives you peace. For those of you who didn’t know Nancy, I’m sorry that you didn’t get to know her and the joy she had. I pray that someday you’ll meet someone with such a vibrant spirit who will challenge you to life by the way she lives.

Her name was Nancy, and she was my friend
~~In Memory of Nancy, December 29, 1986-April 8, 2005~~